Screw the So-Called “Mommy Wars”

Mommy Wars Suck

A couple of weeks ago, a woman was in my office, and she asked me if there is one word to describe what is at the heart of everything I do at BabyLove, what would that be? After thinking for a moment I knew what my answer would be: love. Love and compassion. You see, I didn’t start my career only teaching classes to families on an independent basis. I started my career as a doula and a childbirth educator by working with moms of all ages, careers, backgrounds, socio-economic classes, and from so many countries I eventually lost count.

I think what is missing from a lot of childbirth educators’ experiences is the background of teaching such a diverse range of moms, dads, and other family members. You see, while it’s assumed that these families have so much that is different in their day to day lives,  they actually have more in common than you would expect. I think every family has it’s share of fears. Every mother is secretly worried about some parts of labor and birth. Parenting seems overwhelming to all of us.

We forget that we are best served by respecting and honoring this transformative journey of pregnancy and childbirth by approaching each mother each, each person with love and compassion. It long ago struck me that I have the power to be the positive voice in a pregnancy. Sometimes all moms hear are negative things: about how birth will be terrible, that parenting is a chore, and tales of bad behavior by preschoolers and teenagers.

The truth? The truth is, we all have days when we struggle. We all have days when we feel like we are not going to even be able to make it to bedtime. There are days we all feel so isolated, so alone, so out of touch from our friends, our family, and our community that it can be absolutely terrifying. But, in the end, if we all approach each other with love and compassion as we navigate then joys and challenges of parenthood, then I promise we will get through this together.

Veronica Jacobsen, BA, CLC, CPST, LCCE, FACCE
Birth Doula, Certified Lactation Counselor, Child Passenger Safety Technician, Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, Fellow of the Academy of Certified Childbirth Educators

Opening BabyLove in September of 2011 has allowed me to build a space where all families can come to get good information in a caring, welcoming environment. I have found that not only do I love teaching more than ever, but I also really love running a business. Hopefully my passion for every aspect of BabyLove shines through.
I live in Richfield with my husband, and I am a mother of a two great children. When I can steal a few free moments, I love to go on adventures with my family, cook, garden, thrift, can, and craft.

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